Step Work Wednesday: Keeping My Power

I have decided that on Wednesdays I will post one of the steps and apply it to recent or current situations.

Step One of Charlotte Kasl's 16 Steps to Discovery And Empowerment:

1) We affirm we have the power to take charge of our lives and stop being dependent on substances or other people for our self-esteem and security.

It has already been established here at Healthy Before 40 that my history with food is troubled.  When trying to overcome the emotional pain in their lives, some people use drugs, some people drink, some even have promiscuous sex.  For me, it has been food.  I have abused food to "check out" and not have to think about what has happened to me.
We all know that everyone needs food to stay alive, so how do I keep from going too far?  I am not going to lie; as much as I love food, I am also terrified sometimes of what it could do to me if I lose control over it.  I love cooking, looking at recipes, looking at photos, meandering grocery store aisles -- all of it.  But when it is time for me to sit down and actually eat, I have to stop everything I am doing and check in with myself to make sure I don't overdo it.  I have to sit and wait for my brain to say, "You've had enough. Stop!" and this takes about 20 minutes.  This is eating intuitively.

While I do count points and measure and weigh all my food per suggestion of Weight Watchers, I also incorporate some intuitive practices that allow me to let my body remain in control.  Weight Watchers can make suggestions, but your body knows what you need, how much of it, and when you've had enough.  Granted, I don't always get it "right," but for the most part I am right on track.  This keeps me in control over food, allows me to take charge of my life and release myself of dependency.

In short, I know that I have more power than a cookie, it's just something I have to remind myself of to remain successful.