Down 50 pounds

Today I am officially at a 50 pound loss.   I am thrilled.  I wish I had started sooner!

Funny thing is, I always thought that I wouldn't be able to lose any of this weight.  Save for a few years of my very early childhood, I have always been "big," but things had spun out of control and it was no longer a matter of losing, it had become a matter of trying to keep from gaining.  In March of 2010 I got on hormones that were absolutely necessary (short of a hysterectomy) to help with horrific menstruals.  The fact that I don't want kids was a plus.  I loved it.

Then I started to gain weight really fast.  I packed on 100 lbs in about 17 months.  I completely blamed the IUD and failed to face the true reality -- my bad eating and lack of movement was a large contributor to what was making me sickly, tired, fat(ter), and depressed. I didn't want to get rid of the IUD, but I wanted to drop weight.

I didn't have the IUD removed but I decided to see if I could "beat" it.  I am an almost-straight A student after spending a decade as a college dropout.  I have a 3.98 cumulative GPA and I'm on the Dean's List every semester.  I'm a member of two different honor societies.  I am not bragging; my point is that I am too smart to be this fat.  No, really.  I am.  I can tell you the calorie count and fat grams in any food, right off the top of my head.  I can tell you how many calories you would have to cut in order to lose 2 lbs a week.  I can tell you that no, muscle does not "weigh more than fat," because a pound of fat weighs the same as a pound of muscle -- one pound -- but muscle is more dense. I can tell you that a pound of fat "costs" 3500 calories shaved off of your weekly diet.   I know this; I know how calorie expenditures and workouts and all of that work.  I have been doing this dieting thing for over 25 years.  So no, I am not bragging. I am just stating that I have long had the knowledge to do this but I could never finish what I start and make it to my lifetime goal of 145 lbs or size 10, whichever one feels best.  I have always felt in my heart that I could do anything, only my body was beginning to fail me and not let me accomplish everything I want to do.

Ten years ago I lost 80 pounds but unfortunately I gained it back, plus some.  In those 10 years I have sat at the same desk at work, I have not educated myself, I have not traveled the way I want to, I have not done any of the things I have always wanted to do.  My body simply can not keep up with my ambitious and adventurous spirit.

In my heart, I am a runner.  Last summer I had trouble walking.  I am walking better now and picking up speed, but I want to start jogging before the year is out.  From jogging will come running.  I can do it.  If I treat my body well I can do it.   I can do anything if I just treat my body well.

So far, I have had a great start and I'm looking forward to shaving off another 50 lbs and getting to goal.